I brought together three other individuals to reason and make sense of our individual experiences, coming from different upbringings. We looked at the subject of identity and our understandings of it. Follow the link below to stream if you’re interested in hearing what was discussed:
identity
Being a PhD Student – My Experience 5 Months In
I’m a PhD student at Coventry University Centre for Global Learning: Education and Attainment, exploring Identity and Belonging, and the role of Faith in International Students’ Study. My experience at the start entailed developing better time-management, and familiarising myself with a higher standard of writing and knowledge expected at PhD level.
From a social viewpoint, the journey has been quite isolating. Socially, the University campus no longer looks like it did in the past. I find this experience new because, although I’m on a campus I am very familiar with, my focus has shifted onto a phase much higher than ever. For the first time academically, I have no ‘classmates’. This of course typifies the nature and essence of independent study. I have often compared my PhD to the idea of a marriage, and I would say to myself: ‘I’m married to my PhD and I’m more than willing to make it work!’. This, unexpectedly has boosted my motivation and drive to push on with a stronger sense of fervency and urgency.
I am currently writing my literature review. Sometimes I feel completely blank mentally; falter in will and struggle to maintain focus or generate ideas. At those times, I step out of my office and head to Holy Trinity Church which is nearby. As I’m a religious man, I sit down to pray, meditate and contemplate on matters close to my heart. Or, I take a walk around the University campus, take a seat; observe and pay close attention to my surroundings. This helps me greatly and refreshes my mind for the work ahead!
I try to achieve balance. I have discovered the need for it, whilst going through tons of readings very frequently. I participate in non-academic activities like social hangouts with friends, walks to the park, film watching and consumption, and involvement in social events.
I am glad to be here and cannot imagine doing anything else. That’s it for now, I have to get back to my literature review!
The path of the just
Faithful and trustworthy saying, resounded in me, speeding past the tunnels of time to find me right where I am. Faithful and trustworthy saying, ingrained in me, with all majestic hope and expectation from the ones who love me dearly, with all their heart and might, that one day, maybe just maybe, it shall turn out to be my saving grace. How faithful, how trustworthy, is the path of the shining light, ever true, that shines brighter and brighter, unto the perfect day. Abide by it, my child. By Emmanuel Johnson
Colours
The blend is right, caught midway through emotions. Lay hold of the flash in all its beauty and radiance. Its textures so soothing, feeling so warming. A beauty to behold, a comforter in despair. And now, the rhythm is right, the passage is clear. All of God's children shall vibe in harmony. By Emmanuel Johnson
Letter to I Am
Father of the heavenly lights, I begin sincerely on a note of piety; expressing my gratitude for these situations and beings I find myself surrounded by everyday. I realise the soothing embrace of your grace upon my face everyday, and as I let your light soak in me, I acknowledge your tender loving-kindness on the inside and out. Purify my heart as I yonder on, these uncertain days, upholding the very hope you have planted in my soul. I ask that you abide with me, and grant me the grace to live as you have instructed. So help me, giver of all things good. Amen. By Emmanuel Johnson
States of isolation
Acquainted with you again; truly, you are no new companion because I have shared moments of reason, laughter and sadness with you for many, many years. But now, called into question by this new state, I ask myself more truthfully: can I recognise you any longer? You seem very different this time around. The state I find myself misleads; I work reasonably to find a way around it. But as I get to witness more states around, I realise ever-static banalities which shaped past encounters and meanings. Now I find that very interesting. By Emmanuel Johnson
States of fantasy
The surreal state; an alternate rendition of how things could be right now. Some I see, vastly different, others, fairly similar to the current state. Oh the day shall come when I shall grab that piece to behold, for every time I have sat to conceive of utopia. The new state I contemplate, amidst its grandeur, frightens me, as I attempt to bring it to being. Living my fair share of states humbly, brings to mind, continuously, that, despite my fear, this and this surely is what I genuinely desire. By Emmanuel Johnson
Finding joy
Inflicted with deep restlessness; I realise a desire for something eternal in being; to put in plain words. Words simply cannot: they fail to express. I try my very best, but I am unable to: I fail to communicate. But I know a knowing; very true and trustworthy; which never fails; who always whispers: there is that cosmic unity between us, which nothing, no one, can take away. No one can, for I have beheld true joy. I have beheld true joy. By Emmanuel Johnson
The situation of the cancelled
In the obscurity of this island, I find surrounded, isolated clutters of thought and intent. Lord, I have been rejected by those who once claimed to care. I am trying to connect to the best of me. But I recognise the war waging on the inside. This something within, has been decided as the whole of me. When in truth, it is only a fraction. I have had plenty of time to reflect, and I acknowledge all of my ways. Now, in the final analysis and dawning of this day, I am compelled to ask myself the question: what becomes of the cancelled? By Emmanuel Johnson
There came a time
Searching for something; unaware I was and what it was. Watching days pass like shifting shadows; viewing time in front, side, and back. Looking vaguely for long, being misled by false acuity. The links disconnected and then I saw, my severed paradigm. Would you talk to me, my dear paradigm? How I need you now, my dear paradigm. Your love stayed strong, even when I faltered. And now I see, that secret understanding between us, which you tried to make me see earlier. Oh how illusioned I was, my redemptive paradigm. By Emmanuel Johnson
Emmanuel Johnson 