poem

The Heart’s Archive: A Poem by an African in Pursuit of Belonging

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment

I’m proud to share that my poem, The Heart’s Archive, has been published in the ATLA Journal.

The Heart’s Archive explores the experience of an African individual who grapples with challenges and aspirations tied to life in the diaspora. It combines personal reflections on cultural displacement, resilience, and an unyielding faith in a hopeful future, using the comforting and hopeful words of Psalm 23. Through repeated expressions of anticipation and visions of peace, security, and legitimacy in the African homeland, the poem highlights a profound yearning for stability and recognition amidst the adversities faced abroad. It conveys a strong sense of spiritual reliance, enduring hope, and the resolve to see a future where the African dream of dignity and legitimacy is fulfilled.

The Heart’s Archive is available alongside 6 other contributions in the ATLA journal for purchase (£2.99 for a digital version and £9.99 for a printed version).

Alternative Thought, Learning and Action (ATLA) is a “creative community made up of teachers, artists, researchers and community organisers with a passion for the necessity of collaboration.” The ATLA Journal “is a collaborative publication compiled from a host of goodwill and genuine friendships with contributors who are all part of our community.” (ATLA 2024).

On Victory

/ Emmanuel Johnson / 1 Comment

I really enjoyed presenting (or performing?) my poem, as part of the short film, On Victory, by Coventry Elim Church. I don’t have much experience of reading my poems in front of a live audience, so this felt experimental, fresh and exciting. Check out the film below!

Memories

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Photo of Emmanuel Johnson, photographed by Ethan Shi
Memories screech in circles,
Memories lived, memories not lived.
For memories not lived 
I see a beauty of what could be,
I behold a promise not made.
Memories lived and felt remain
Deep in the heart with outpourings of affection.
These affections offer a promise not made
Of memories not lived.
As the downpour ensues
I hold onto both memories.
As the billows intensify 
I hold on tightly with all my strength.

Auto

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Photo of Emmanuel Johnson, photographed by Justin Jamgbadi
Auto-walking.
Layers concealed, hidden within.
A walk embarked,
control lost in-between.
Auto-running.
Stomps to ground, impact unfelt.
The chest tightens,
climactic finale, panting ensues.
Auto-flying.
Back on cushion, breath set loose.
A moment of rest,
grips let loose, sensitivity heightens.

Wandering Heart

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Conversion of Saint Augustine, Fra Angelico, 1430
O wandering heart of mine,
I trace your tracks up this hill
but I do not see where you go.
Day and night you wander,
paying little heed to burnout.
Across all entrances and exits
you dash simultaneously,
drifting unreservedly.
I trace your movements 
but only find traces 
of questions you leave behind.
I cannot understand your tracks,
they are unimaginably complex.
I cannot number your steers,
they are infinite in number.
You disperse in prideful splendour
to flounder in collective shatter.
Your pride-filled ways mislead,
moving but going nowhere precise.
Your words are multi-minded,
yet you push to enforce your will.
You wail with outbursts of desire,
yet, en route your solo dash, 
you desire nothing ultimately meaningful.

Eternal New Day

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Eternity in our Hearts, by Charis Psallo

To turn my hurt to life.
I sit and contemplate.
Could it be, a reason for every hurt,
every mixed conflict,
moment of pain,
sorrow and disillusionment,
is eternal glory?
Eternal glory that outweighs hurt
and transforms to life?

I pause and contemplate.
I try to fix my eyes on what is eternal 
but struggle.

Lord, 
be a banner over me
and take me to the place you want me.
Like a leaf that falls and dillydallies mid-air,
I too dream to land on gentle waters, 
that purify the soul
and unravel a renewed horizon 
of hope unto a new day.

On ‘Coincedence’

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Still of Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta in Pulp Fiction (1994). Directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Why did this happen?
This happens, that happened.
I don't understand why that happened.
I would be fooling myself,
speaking out of utter arrogance 
if I claimed to understand why it did.
If my choice was mildly out of place,
I would be in a different place now.
A different place may produce a different outcome,
a different outcome may produce a different life.
What if I made a different choice?
In my pursuit of truth, I stumble upon 
a realisation of human finitude.
I don't get to make all choices 
so I don't get to see all things.
I don't get to see all things
so I don't get to know all things.
I feel humbled as I return where I started.
I'll no longer ask why it happened,
I'll simply acknowledge that it did.

On Desire

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment
Sandro Botticelli: fresco of St. Augustine
St. Augustine, fresco by Sandro Botticelli, 1480; in the Church of Ognissanti, Florence.
PicturesNow/UIG/age fotostock
I wonder what it is about desire
that swivels within layers of layers.
I unfold and unfold but I find more layers.
I contemplate upon these layers 
but I find unfolding questions.
Were I to put into words what I see,
I would remain stuck in a standstill.
Yet desire ravages on the inside,
yearning to be expressed.
I lay me down in silence 
and stillness of thought.
I hold onto what I do not see.
I say to myself,
I will wait for you.

The ‘what if’ factor

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment 
Powerful moment in history, is now. 
The 'what if' factor is the lifesaver
I wish to write on,
in a humble attempt to express
its power and influence 
in everyday affairs.

Powerful moment in history, is now,
as I step out to interact with those
I attempt to avoid but cannot do without.
What if, I was wrong to avoid them in the first place? 
I now contemplate as I am shown
something too magnificent to express in words,
by those I attempted to avoid.

By Emmanuel Johnson

The nature of days

/ Emmanuel Johnson / Leave a comment 
These days,
I see things take a turn here
and another there.
The straight path which once was 
creates ever-forming interlinks
I now try to make sense of.
I am conflicted.
My observation of its nature keeps me 
perplexed, as I see same and others 
hide beneath the same mask.
In the final analysis,
I realise a dedication
to get to the root of this,
and prevailing situations,
which obstruct my search,
as I continually seek meaning.

By Emmanuel Johnson