The Heart’s Archive: A Poem by an African in Pursuit of Belonging

I’m proud to share that my poem, The Heart’s Archive, has been published in the ATLA Journal.

The Heart’s Archive explores the experience of an African individual who grapples with challenges and aspirations tied to life in the diaspora. It combines personal reflections on cultural displacement, resilience, and an unyielding faith in a hopeful future, using the comforting and hopeful words of Psalm 23. Through repeated expressions of anticipation and visions of peace, security, and legitimacy in the African homeland, the poem highlights a profound yearning for stability and recognition amidst the adversities faced abroad. It conveys a strong sense of spiritual reliance, enduring hope, and the resolve to see a future where the African dream of dignity and legitimacy is fulfilled.

The Heart’s Archive is available alongside 6 other contributions in the ATLA journal for purchase (£2.99 for a digital version and £9.99 for a printed version).

Alternative Thought, Learning and Action (ATLA) is a “creative community made up of teachers, artists, researchers and community organisers with a passion for the necessity of collaboration.” The ATLA Journal “is a collaborative publication compiled from a host of goodwill and genuine friendships with contributors who are all part of our community.” (ATLA 2024).

Hey guys, soooooooo I published a poetry book

Hey everyone, it’s been how long since my last post? Almost a year? Wow, that’s shocking! I think it’s also very telling about how life has been for me since April 2023 (when I last posted on this site). There are many events that have happened since last April, the purpose of this post though is to highlight on just one of those events, the release of my debut poetry book: I Can’t Go Back to Sleep

A photo of me reading some of my poems at my book launch on 2 February 2024 at Coventry.
A photo of me reading some of my poems at my book launch on 2 February 2024 in Coventry.

While thinking of how to write this, I considered it best to provide some history about how I found myself here. How did I become a poet? Backtrack to June 2018, I was in Nigeria, I had completed my master’s at Coventry and returned home. I had some personal events that transpired a few months earlier that left me with feelings of confusion. I couldn’t get thoughts about this event out of my mind, I found myself thinking deeply about it and making no progress in my thinking. Upon realisation of my mental standstill, I turned to poetry, to help unpack these thoughts, make sense of them and ultimately express them creatively. This eventually led to my writing of the Infusion of Light short poetry collection.

Before my return to Nigeria, I spent significant time with three friends who ultimately influenced me in a way I would only later discover while in Nigeria. These friends were Mabel (or Maybelle), Ade (or Adetiloye) and David Ajiri, they were all poets. Before my Nigeria-return, I did not see the writing of poetry as something that was for me. While with these friends, I heard about poetry, read some of their poems and marvelled at the ability of words to create ‘inexpressible’ beauty. I admired their poems and valued the art form of poetry. More importantly, through these friends, poetry became real and personal to me. I got to see poetry as something accessible, as a form of expression not for ‘Shakespeare’ only, but for people like us too – people who came from where we came from, people who spoke with a familiar accent, people who looked like us, and people who could relate with our life experiences. In hindsight, I realise that these friends unintentionally paved the way for me, so through this post I wish to give them the honour that they deserve.

A photo of me, Mabel and Ade
A photo of me, Mabel and Ade, 2019.

Though I had not initially seen poetry as something I would later try, trying it while in Nigeria was not much of an audacious thought. I could try poetry because I knew actual poets whom I confirmed were actual human beings as I was friends with them. For your influence on me I say thank you – Mabel, Ade and David!

A photo of me and David
A photo of me and David, 2017.

So, we’re nearing the end of this post and to conclude I think I should address the subject of poetry-writing itself, why write poetry? I think people of all backgrounds should write poetry because, in no cliché terms, poetry is a window to the soul! Poetry helps to uncover hidden aspects of personality, identity, life experience and more. It helps to give words to feelings and experiences that can’t be touched but felt and lived.

With my new poetry book, I Can’t Go Back to Sleep, I do just this! I write poems that express feelings I have had which I’ve not always been able to express; I write poems that clothe life experiences which, not only bear great significance to me, but mirror experiences of others too (yes, this includes you, my very kind reader). Lastly, in this book, I attempt to lend words to others, to help express the never-ending range of feelings, experiences and moments that we encounter in life. I Can’t Go Back to Sleep is for everyone with words they never could express. If you’re reading and feeling a sense of resonance in these words, I invite you to get yourself a copy of my book! 

I Can’t Go back to Sleep is out on Amazon! I hope you find the book enriching!

Photos from my book launch:

A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch
A photo from my book launch

Memories

Photo of Emmanuel Johnson, photographed by Ethan Shi
Memories screech in circles,
Memories lived, memories not lived.
For memories not lived 
I see a beauty of what could be,
I behold a promise not made.
Memories lived and felt remain
Deep in the heart with outpourings of affection.
These affections offer a promise not made
Of memories not lived.
As the downpour ensues
I hold onto both memories.
As the billows intensify 
I hold on tightly with all my strength.

The ‘what if’ factor

Powerful moment in history, is now. 
The 'what if' factor is the lifesaver
I wish to write on,
in a humble attempt to express
its power and influence 
in everyday affairs.

Powerful moment in history, is now,
as I step out to interact with those
I attempt to avoid but cannot do without.
What if, I was wrong to avoid them in the first place? 
I now contemplate as I am shown
something too magnificent to express in words,
by those I attempted to avoid.

By Emmanuel Johnson

The nature of days

These days,
I see things take a turn here
and another there.
The straight path which once was 
creates ever-forming interlinks
I now try to make sense of.
I am conflicted.
My observation of its nature keeps me 
perplexed, as I see same and others 
hide beneath the same mask.
In the final analysis,
I realise a dedication
to get to the root of this,
and prevailing situations,
which obstruct my search,
as I continually seek meaning.

By Emmanuel Johnson

The path of the just

Faithful and trustworthy saying, 
resounded in me,
speeding past the tunnels of time 
to find me right where I am. 
Faithful and trustworthy saying, 
ingrained in me,
with all majestic hope and expectation 
from the ones who love me dearly, 
with all their heart and might,
that one day, maybe
just maybe,
it shall turn out
to be my saving grace.
How faithful,
how trustworthy,
is the path of the shining light, 
ever true,
that shines brighter and brighter, 
unto the perfect day.
Abide by it, my child.

By Emmanuel Johnson

Colours

The blend is right,
caught midway through emotions. 
Lay hold of the flash
in all its beauty and radiance.
Its textures so soothing,
feeling so warming.
A beauty to behold,
a comforter in despair.
And now, the rhythm is right,
the passage is clear.
All of God's children shall
vibe in harmony.

By Emmanuel Johnson

Letter to I Am

Father of the heavenly lights,
I begin sincerely on a note of piety;
expressing my gratitude for these
situations and beings I find myself
surrounded by everyday.
I realise the soothing embrace of your grace upon my face 
everyday, and as I let your light soak in me, I acknowledge your 
tender loving-kindness on the inside and out.
Purify my heart as I yonder on, these uncertain days, upholding 
the very hope you have planted in my soul.
I ask that you abide with me, and grant me
the grace to live as you have instructed.
So help me, giver of all things good.
Amen.

By Emmanuel Johnson

States of isolation

Acquainted with you again;
truly, you are no new companion
because I have shared moments of reason, laughter and sadness 
with you for many, many years.
But now, called into question by this new state,
I ask myself more truthfully:
can I recognise you any longer?
You seem very different this time around.
The state I find myself misleads;
I work reasonably to find a way around it.
But as I get to witness more states around,
I realise ever-static banalities
which shaped past encounters and meanings.
Now I find that very interesting.

By Emmanuel Johnson

States of fantasy

The surreal state;
an alternate rendition of how things could be right now. 
Some I see, vastly different,
others, fairly similar to
the current state.
Oh the day shall come when I shall
grab that piece to behold,
for every time I have sat to conceive of utopia.
The new state
I contemplate,
amidst its grandeur,
frightens me, as I attempt to bring it to being.
Living my fair share of states humbly,
brings to mind, continuously, that,
despite my fear, this and this surely
is what I genuinely desire.

By Emmanuel Johnson